WARNING: Mature Content ahead. The following story may contain topics not suitable for all audiences.
Two Hurt People Healing Each Other
The funny thing about humans is that, when we feel emotionally hurt, we can distract ourselves with physical pain to forget our emotional pain.
Lena had cut herself many times before, and she had learned to hide her scars so that anyone wouldn’t notice.
‘It’s okay, it’s okay. We’ve done this before. Close your eyes, feel the blood running through your veins, ready to get out. Breathe in, breathe our. Don’t cry yet. It’s just a cut, come on. We can do it. One, two, three. There you go, first cut. Look at the blood drops, feel the pain. Let it take over your thoughts. Ready? Here we go. One, two, three. The emotions are leaving, see? It’s not bad, it’s okay. Everthing is okay. Come on, the last one. One, squeeze your fist, two, get ready, three, feel it. Now cry, everything has passed. The pain is flowing through your body, no more thoughts, it’s just the pain and you. Capture the moment, live it. Cry, don’t worry. We’re used to this shit. Life is way worse than this.’
Not one person knew about Lena’s situation, until one day, when Charlie accidentally moved her sleeve.
“Oh…,” muttered Charlie.
Quickly, Lena hid her ham under her jacket. Charlie stared into her eyes.
“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen that,” she apologised.
He didn’t say anything.
“It’s how I forget about life. The life where I don’t fit, where nobody gives a damn about me.”
He kept looking at her.
“Charlie,” said Lena, “Don’t you ever want to disappear from the world for a moment? Don’t you ever get tired for the same crap you gotta keep facing every fucking day? Don’t you ever want to just die?”
“Do you think you are so worthless that dying would fix everything?”
“Yes,” she answered.
“Well, I think that it’s a waste to believe that one, as a person, means nothing, and to believe that everything would be better whithout us.”
“It’s just, well, people are so important… and so special, it’s sad when someone doesn’t realize the treasure theyv’e got inside themselves. They don’t know they deserve love, and that they’ve got a unique place in this world. They should know they can be who they really are and that they can express whenever they want how they feel, without being scared that anyone will make fun of them, or ignore them or yell at them. Without humiliation, contempt, or rejection.
“Why are you telling me this?” she asked.
Charlie raised his left sleeve. There were many scars on his wrist.
“For a year I used to think this was the solution to my problems, until I realized it wasn’t.”
“My friends. People who had been in the same situation as me, and that cared about me. They helped me realize that life is so much better, and that there are better ways to face our pain”
“Which would be..?”
“Open your heart to others”
“I’m not sure I want to talk about this with anyone…”
“Well, you just did with me,” he smiled. “I got you”
Lena smiled too. After all this time, she had finally smiled geniunely.
The Great Ant Colony