Growing Up


So 2018 is almost over.

This year has been full of emotions for me, but maybe not as emotional as last year was.

I entered 11th grade. I’m about to choose the Career Field I will be part of next year, which will guide me to choose the career to which I want to dedicate passionately.

To be honest, I’m just 90% sure about what career I want, which grown-ups say it’s perfectly normal. After all, I’m just 16, and about to turn 17 in a couple of months. And I’m conscious that 90% is a good number, but, there’s that 10% which is open to any last-minute suggestions.  And that 10% makes me scared.

I’m scared about choosing the wrong career. I’m scared about making the wrong decisions and consequently messing up my future. I’m scared about wasting valuable time in something that at the end didn’t make me happy at all. I’m scared about not being as capable as others. I’m really scared. And it’s something that, after thinking about it, I also found my situation kinda funny. Because three years ago I was in a completely different situation than I am now.

Minutes before I started writing this entry, I took a look to the statistics of this website, which I’ve kept since 2015. 2015 was the most productive year for this blog. And I look back, and see how worry-free I was. I just cared about writing a good post, which could get me views and therefore, followers. My creative skills developed by my then 13-year-old self amazes me now. If you’ve been a follower since 2015 or early 2016 of this website, you may remember my origami tutorials, my drawing tutorials, my weekly post “Talk About-Thursday” where I felt free to talk about anything that I wanted, my other weekly post “Viernes Mexicano” released every friday where I shared small bits of our mexican culture to the public of my website, my monthly post called “Movies that left me pondering” in which I reviewed movies that left an impact on my life…

2015 was also the most productive year for me in terms of virtual relationships. 2015-2016 it’s the period of time where I discovered internet friends. I became closer to some members of the SuperFolder community from the children’s book’s website Origami Yoda, and I also became closer to people around my age which were also part of the WordPress community. Hell, I even had a crush or two on some bloggers (who sadly, have either abandoned the community or just started over and created a new account). And that just tells me how much I cared about people that I didn’t even know in real life, but who shared similar interests with me. I appreciate the relationships I built those years, and I’ve been lucky enough to keep in touch with many of them. Take Cam and his sister Ella as an example, take fellow SuperFolder Jessenia as another. 

All of that, now in the past. But I keep these memories in my heart, and smile because of them. They will always be a part of me. As well as the memories I have been building now. I had my first relationship (which is over now), I won a debate, I met new people, I discovered hidden talents, I won a tournament, I submitted my TOEFL exam, I made new friends, I’ve kept older friendships and they have grown a lot…

The difference between my 13-year-old self and my present self is big, and yet, that’s perfectly normal.

I’m growing up.

And every year that passes, my experience with life increases, and it’s just so beautiful to realize how complex yet simple life is.

There’s this quote by the Thirteenth Doctor which I really like, and it says:

We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we’ve been and choose who we want to be next.

Jodie Whittaker, Doctor Who

And now that 2019 is literally around the corner, I wish for everyone to not be scared about what’s to come. Be excited, since life is all about change and renewal. Take everything you’ve learned and use it in your way to success. Reach happiness, and help the other to reach their happiness too. 

Or at least, that’s my advice, which I’ll be sure to follow too. 

Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m right. Who knows? After all, I’m just growing up, and time will tell.

The Great Ant Colony

5 thoughts on “Growing Up

      • sfcamster 15 December, 2018 / 7:05 PM

        I’m not sure how much you use Hangouts nowadays, but I sent you a message if you’re interested in having one of them deep conversations.


        • Antonio Llergo 15 December, 2018 / 7:07 PM

          Oh, didn’t know that. I uninstalled it many days ago, like a couple of weeks. Lemme download it again


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